Jesse

I was standing in line waiting for a cab outside of ayala. With a heavy heart, i just waited in silence, thinking about how someone made me believe that she's so eager to see me but decided to leave me waiting for her there for more than 2 hours without any explanation or plan of showing up.

my phone's message alert tone went off. D12's D12 World kept on playing inside my left front jeans pocket for a while before i was jarred away from my lonely imaginings.

"are you wearing a green polo shirt and wearing sandals with 23 on them?" the text message read.

i looked around but don't see her. i pressed the call feature of my cellphone when her cellphone number was on my screen. it rang thrice before she answered in her sweet voice.

"where are you, i've been waiting for more than 2 hours?" i said.

"i'm sorry, i got caught up from a previous engagement. my friend just arrived from mindanao and we had dinner and it became harder for me to free myself from him the longer we chatted. i'm so sorry!"

"well, anyway, now i know why you ditched me. have a fun time with your friend", i said back.

"no, he's gone now. if you still want to meet me, i'm in the entertainment center wearing a red cap! i'm really sorry!"

so, off i went inside ayala again. went way past the only guard i know in ayala center who is indifferent. you could bring a bag big enough to contain a groud to air explosive and he still won't care! went to Bo's Cafe (one of her favorite place) but didn't find her there. When I went out, she waived her hand from the side of Tequilla Joe's.

there she was, standing tall, beautiful, with the loveliest smile and big round innocent looking eyes just staring at me. it made me feel all tingly all over when i realized that this wonderful person is doing nothing but look, wait and smile at me. she made me feel like a kid inside a toy store and looking straight into the eyes of the biggest and newest toy available for my pleasure. i felt really happy and really excited at the same time.

"i thought you were wearing a red cap?" i asked

she laughed. it sounded like the sweetest symphony i've heard for that day!

"i was just here when you passed by to go inside Bo's Coffee and when you came out to look for me. i thought you saw me coz you looked at me for a little while", she said

"well, if you've just said that you were wearing a maroon cap instead of red, i would've approached you then!", i said laughing with her

"maroon or red, aren't they in the same family?"

we both laughed then.

we spent the next few hours talking and walking around the mini park outside of ayala. we talked about our childhood (some really bad experiences are similar), how things affected us, favorites, pet peeves, music, movies, etc.

as we were doing this, it got me more excited when i know that she's looking at me or when our skin brushed. so, i made sure to be as near her as possible. sometimes, while she talked, i placed my hand along her backside to appear as if i'm guiding her (in reality i was savoring what seemed to be an electric current passed from her skin to mine). sometimes, i look at her eyes while she's talking and i feel so hopelessly drawn towards her. on that night, under the canopy of the trees in the ayala mini park and the myriad twinkling stars above - i have slowly rebuild my faith in love.

at around midnight, i asked her if she would like to continue our conversation in the beach as it would be very relaxing and soothing to have our feet in the sand or the water while talking. and without pause she accepted the invitation.

each second that we spent with each other made me feel like i have already found someone that i know will make me happy and contented in life.

someone who will love me for what i am, who i am and who i will become.

someone i will devote all my life loving and making happy.

someone i am glad to call my wife.

apology accepted...

i understand what you are going through.

thank you for understanding me too...

HOW LONG MUST I BE PUNISHED FOR THE THINGS I DIDN'T DO?

HOW MUCH PAIN SHOULD I ENDURE FOR OTHER PEOPLE'S MISTAKES?

HOW FAR SHOULD I GO WITH THIS HUMILIATION BEFORE YOU CAN SAY THAT I AM TRUE TO MY WORDS?

I HONESTLY DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!

I DID NOT DO ANYTHING WRONG!

I AM HONEST AND TRUE!

NOW, MY HEAD IS ACHING!

there will always be problems mi querida...

and i will always be here for you...

para siempre, mi amor!

THANK YOU FOR YOUR GREETING CARD!!!

THANK YOU FOR THIS...





YOU HAVE MADE MY BIRTHDAY EXTRA SPECIAL!!!

eres todo en mi.... mi querida

i received this from you.

now, i'm overjoyed.

thank you.


oye mi amor....yo queria decirte que lo amo tanto! tu eres mi vida. sin ti soy nadie. sin tu amor, mi vida es hueco. gracias que te encuentro. gracias que veniste a mi vida. ese dia me salvo, tu recuerdas que lo paso? mi dijiste que yo tenia algo mal y me curaste! nunca te olvidare....NUNCA! TE AMO PARA SIEMPRE!

imaginame sin ti....

this is one of your favorite songs...

you sang this back to me when i sang "perdido sin ti" to you...

now that you're gone

all i ever do is

download versions of your favorite song

listen

get depressed

long for you

feel how happy i was when we were together

weep....

because it's very painful to "imagine me without you!"

IMAGINAME SIN TI

Mientras brillen las estrellas
Y los ríos corran hacia el mar
Hasta el día en que tu vuelvas
Sé que no te dejaré de amar

Si escucharas mi lamento
Si me vieras volverías,
Ya he pagado un alto precio
Por el mal que yo te hacía

Soy culpable ya lo sé
Y estoy arrepentido, te pido

Imagíname sin tí,
Y regresarás a mi
Sabes que sin tu amor,
nada soy
Que no podré sobrevivir
Imagíname sin tí
Cuando mires mi retrato
Si algo en tí, queda de mí
Regresa por favor,
Imagíname sin tí

Se ha borrado mi sonrisa
Y la lluvia no ha cesado,
SI supieras como duele
El no tenerte aqui a mi lado

Soy culpable ya lo sé
Y estoy arrepentido, te pido

Imagíname sin tí,
Y regresarás a mí
Sabes que sin tu amor,
nada soy
Que no podré sobrevivir
Imagíname sin tí
Cuando mires mi retrato
Si algo en tí, queda de mí
Regresa por favor,
Imagíname sin ti

PERDIDO SIN TI...

Quedate cada noche
Y suename en la luna
Amame por las calles
perdidas de mi vida
Besame poco a poco
No sea que me muera
Vive con este loco
Perdido que te quiere

Si me hace falta tu presencia
Yo me pierdo buscandote
Cierro mi vida, cierro para mi
El libro blanco de mi vida
El libro blanco de mi vida

Perdido sin ti
No me dejes solo
Sin ti

Quedate en mi casa
I love you
Sin ti me falta todo
I need you
Sin ti no queda nada

Estoy perdido
no me dejes solo
Sin ti
Quedate en mi casa
No te vayas
Sin ti me falta todo
Esperate
Sin ti no queda nada

Amor
Quedate
Amor
Quedate
Toda la vida
Quedate
Perdido sin ti

Guardate en mi memoria
Y escondete en mis brazos
Metete por los poros
Abiertos de mi herida
mirame desde cerca
Y matame si quieres
Pero no me abandones
Al viento de mi vida

Se me falta tu presencia
Yo me pierdo buscandote
Cierro mi vida, cierro para mi
El libro blanco de mi vida
El libro blanco de mi vida

holding on...

a newborn patient died last night and while the parents were weeping, they said, "thank you baby for giving us the opportunity to be with you and care for you even for just 3 weeks. thank you baby for giving us the chance to love you even for a little while!"

i almost cried right there and then because that's exactly how i feel for you (minus the dying part)!

you entered my life without a warning and instantly my pathetic existence was assaulted with so much joy and contentment. i was never looking for love or commitment because they never made me happy before. when you came it's like as if everything in my life turned 360* and you brought more meaning and happiness into my life than a couple of years i have living alone and pretending i was happy and contented. you have no idea how happy you made me while you were with me everyday for a little more than a month. you have no idea how much you made me feel so loved and lucky to have found you. and i would like to take this opportunity to let you know that i love you very, very much and that i would be very lucky if you give me the chance to love you and care for you until we're old. i have to tell you these because you deserved these and more.

i don't want to let you go without telling you how great you are...

i don't want to let you go without telling you how lucky i am that you messaged me first...

i don't want to let you go without saying thank you for giving me the opportunity to love you and care for you...

i don't want to let you go without saying i love you very much...

i don't want to let you go!

minus one is the loneliest number...

the small room seemed a whole lot bigger and colder now...

the bed, which contains your smell, feels hostile to my body...

the bathroom doesn't seem inviting anymore...

the food never seemed less edible than now...

i think i'm still breathing, i'm not sure though...

i think this is life...

now that you are gone!

Bisaya Online EB (Sweet Surrender)

soydecebu, ckela and bf, little girl, mags, lady_yuna, dhedi, rasta_dubbed, pazuzu690, tindak_gihapon & james...

mi querida

i have been happy before but never this extatic...

i have been loved in countless ways but yours gave me a new definition of bliss...

i have been very thankful in the past...

but i want to take this opportunity to thank you for making me happy and for giving me this chance to love you my way!

you have no idea how happy and loved you made me feel...

and i'm taking this chance that you gave me to make you feel the same way.

A TRUE FRIEND'S PLEDGE

Are you tired of all those "sissy-ass" friendship poems that always sound good but never actually come close to reality? Well, here is a series of promises that really speaks of true friendship

1. When you are sad: I will help you get drunk and plot revenge against the sorry ass who made you sad!
2. When you are blue: I will dislodge what is choking you!
3. When you smile: I will know you finally got laid!
4. When you are scared: I will rag on you about it every chance i get!
5. When you are worried: I will tell you horrible stories about how much worse it could be and to quit whining!
6. When you are confused: I will use little words!
7. When you are sick: Stay the hell away from me until you are well again. I don't want whatever you have!
8. When you fall: I will point and laugh at your clumsy ass!

This is my oath. I pledge this till the end.

"Why?" you may ask, because you are my friend.

Send this to 10 of your closest friends, then get depresssed because you can only think of 4!

Remember:
A good friend will help you move on.

A really good friend will help you move a body.

Let me know if I ever need to bring a shovel!

not bad at all...

okay, so, the meaning of christmas, for a couple of decades now, has always been overshadowed by consumerism and commercialism...

this is the philippines, so, it's worse here. let me tell you why.

when the months start to hit "ber" (which of course starts with september) the filipino malls and most establishments start playing/broadcasting over the PA familiar christmas songs and the not-so-familiar and the "just plain irritating" version of any imaginable christmas song/jingle in such a way that when christmas actually arrives - you don't like hearing them anymore because it will cause you to vomit and turn psycho!

at the same time that these songs start, the christmas commercials also start.

christmas specials in september, october, november and december.

christmas' meaning gets lost in all these.

it's like the gold lost its luster.

however tragic this may seem i am fortunate to have with me my family this christmas.
they have ushered a new version of the meaning of christmas.
they have made me feel how a person should feel in times of giving and loving.
they are the reason why there is a christmas.

yes, christmas for me is nothing but a rest day. yes, i don't like the way christmas is being treated in this country. yes, christmas songs make me puke.

and yes, i am having a very merry christmas because i am loved.

i sincerely wish you the same thing.

stella and I...